Well, It Ain't Perfect
by cornpony
Summary: Turbo convinces Felix to take a ride in his kart. 80's boyfriends (Felix/Turbo).


"Get in, Hot Stuff. We're goin for a ride."

The air smelled of vehicle exhaust wafting amid hot pavement, of fresh-cut grass and a hint of wet dirt. The sun was just beginning to set in the Turbo Time cabinet, casting a warm orange glow across the racetrack.

Turbo revved the engine of his kart, a beautiful red machine glistening in the sunset. It had been buffed and polished to near perfection, the sunset rays seeming to drip off its surface. A Michael Jackson tune hummed through the radio, just loud enough to provide ambience.

Turbo grinned as he eyed a very apprehensive-looking Fix-it Felix, Jr. standing at the edge of the track, scuffing his boots in the dirt.

"Are you sure it's safe?" Felix said. "I mean…well…it doesn't even have seatbelts."

"Are you kiddin'?" Turbo lovingly placed a hand on the hood of his kart. "This old gal's safer than…something really, really safe."

Felix raised an eyebrow.

"But, uh…" Felix said, scrunching his nose. "Where would I even sit?" Felix asked.

Turbo patted the space directly behind him with a smile.

"Oh no, I couldn't—" Felix stammered. "I'll just—I'll just stand right here and watch y—"

"Just get in the damn kart!" came an exasperated voice somewhere off to the left.

Turbo's gentle smile turned into a snarl. He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "Axel, you _ass_!"

Felix flushed. He wasn't used to hearing such dirty talk. It always made him feel out of place. The Nicelanders back in his game would have fainted by now, Felix mused.

Turbo and Felix turned their heads toward the nearby bushes, which were rustling rather suspiciously. Axel and Rally, Turbo's older twin brothers, tumbled out, their cover blown by the one Turbo had called Axel.

Felix still couldn't tell the difference between the two of them yet. They dressed in identical blue racing suits with a single white stripe going down the middle, and identical blue helmets, a white stripe adorning them as well. Their faces _did _look slightly different, but Felix couldn't quite pinpoint how.

"Just trying to help you out, little bro," one of the twins said, a serene smile softening his face. His voice was mellower than the one Turbo had called Axel, so that would make him Rally. Felix tried to burn this fact into his mind.

"Both a you scram," Turbo said, though it was halfhearted. "Can'tcha see I'm trying to impress my friend, here?" He jabbed his thumb over at Felix, revving his engine again, a grin creeping across his face. Felix felt all eyes on him. He grinned sheepishly.

"Here," Axel said. He took off his helmet, revealing a shock of dark gray hair. He handed his helmet to Felix. "You can borrow this."

"Oh, well, ah, thank you very much, but…I don't think I'll be needing it." Felix attempted to give the helmet back to him. But before Felix could even realize what was happening, Rally grabbed the blue cap off of his head, while Axel snatched the helmet out of Felix's outstretched hands and jammed it onto the handyman's head.

"That's a good look for you," Turbo said.

"If he's nervous, just go really slow until he gets used to it," Rally suggested, Felix's hat atop his head. Rally didn't realize until after it had come out of his mouth that that statement could be taken in more ways than one. He bit his lip and stifled a laugh in his throat.

"Yeah, just go one lap around Course One until he gets used to it," Axel said. He looked down at Felix. "There aren't any ramps or hills or anything."

All eyes were on Felix now. Rally gave him a cheesy grin and a thumbs-up. Axel nodded approvingly. Felix turned to look at Turbo. His yellow eyes were somehow childlike, sparkling in the sunset, giving Felix a stomach-churning look of hopefulness. They seemed to say, _would you?_

"Jiminy," Felix muttered. "I guess I'll go. But only if you promise you'll drive sensibly." He pointed a gloved finger at Turbo.

The twins snickered, and Turbo glared at them, brows furrowed. They did try to quieten down, though, but only for Felix's sake.

"Awright, awright, I promise," Turbo said. "Now wouldja quit yer yackin and get in?"

Felix took a deep breath and walked toward the kart. When he reached the side, he was ashamed to admit he couldn't figure out how to go about getting _in _the thing. There obviously wasn't a door to open, and there was also the issue of Turbo taking up over half the seat. He gingerly placed his hands on the side of the kart and tipped himself in. His newly-helmeted head hit the seat with a _thunk_, his legs flailing.

"I seem to be stuck," Felix grunted.

"I can see that," Turbo said, watching Felix's legs flop like two fish out of water. A grin crept across the racer's face. "Yer gonna scratch my paint kicking around like that."

Felix felt himself being lifted into the air. Axel had lifted him up and over the side of the kart, plopping him down into a proper seating position.

"There we go," Axel said.

Behind the wheel, the kart was just as impressive as the outside. There were rows of switches and buttons that were labeled with acronyms Felix couldn't even begin to guess the meaning of. Dangling from the radio's volume control knob was a little red air freshener in the shape of a pine tree.

These close quarters were almost too much for the modest handyman to bear. His knees were on either side of Turbo's ass. They weren't touching each other now, but when the kart started to move, there would be no way to avoid it. Felix's face reddened.

"You ready back there?" Turbo said, turning around as best he could to look at Felix.

"Um," Felix said. He adjusted the helmet he had been forced to borrow, making sure it was as snug as possible. It was a tad loose, but it was definitely better than nothing. "Yes. I'm…ready whenever you are."

Felix didn't have to tell the racer twice. Turbo eased the car into motion. Felix's heart leapt into his throat. _What had he just agreed to?_

"Bye!" Rally called.

"Have fun!" Axel yelled.

After driving about ten feet, Turbo left the pavement to travel down the short dirt path that led over to Course One. This course was noticeably shorter, and free of bumps and ramps, just as Axel had promised. Felix sighed with relief.

"Still alive?" Turbo turned his head to look at his passenger.

"K-keep your eyes on the road, please!" Felix stammered.

Turbo rolled his eyes, but he was grinning all the same.

The road transitioned from dirt to smooth pavement. The smell of fresh oil wafted through the air. Turbo gently urged the kart to go faster, tires humming a low tune on the track. He had to navigate the gas pedal with his big toe instead of his whole foot, so he wouldn't get carried away.

Wind whipped past the kart with a loudness and ferocity that Felix would never have suspected. Turbo seemed to notice this at about the same time he did; Turbo reached for the volume knob of the radio. He turned it up far too loud for Felix's taste, but turned it back down to a more agreeable volume after a second of thought. The tail end of "Material Girl" by Madonna wafted through the speakers.

"I like this song," Felix called over the sound of the wind. Turbo snickered, shaking his head.

All around them, streetlights began to pop on, as if by magic. The bulbs emitted an orange glow, not unlike the sunset rapidly fading in the distance. Turbo picked up a little speed, but he was still driving too slowly for his taste. He looked down at his speedometer. Fifty miles per hour. Yeesh.

After taking a leisurely lap around Course 1, Turbo slowed the kart to a stop at the finish line. It was impossible to talk and drive at the same time.

"How was it?" Turbo asked, twisting his body around to meet Felix's eyes.

"Fun," Felix admitted.

Turbo grinned. "Ready to go a little faster, then?"

"Sure," Felix responded quickly.

Did Turbo just feel his heart flutter? Surely not.

Turbo took the kart down another dirt path, this one much longer. They popped out onto a track full of many more twists and turns, uneven pavement, and oil slicks. Felix's heart raced in his chest.

"Oh, how appropriate!" Turbo grinned. "This is my _favorite _song!" He cranked up the volume as he sped down the straight stretch that began Course Two.

A meaty guitar riff blared from the speakers. Turbo dodged the first oil slick with the slightest nudge of the steering wheel; Felix had to look behind him to believe they'd actually missed it. The racer put his foot on the break, drifting around the first big curve, tires squealing.

_I'm your Turbo Lover…tell me there's no other…_

Felix grinned. _Did this song just say "Turbo Lover"? No wonder it's his favorite—_

"Hang on!" Turbo yelled over his shoulder.

Felix didn't ask any questions. His hands flailed around, looking for something suitable to grab onto, but there was nothing. The kart ran over a speed boost pad, three glowing red arrows that doubled their already breakneck speed. They were barreling straight towards a very steep hill.

The events that followed after the kart flew over the hill were a blur to Felix. He remembered the kart leaving the pavement and sailing into the air. He remembered his ass disconnecting with the seat and being overcome with a strange sense of floating. And somewhere during those few short seconds, his arms tightened over the racer's chest, hanging on for dear life. He paid no heed to the kart's wheels finally touching back down onto solid ground, nor to the rest of the ride. There were more hills, but not like the huge one they'd literally _flown _over. And Turbo dodged oil slicks with ease, but all Felix could think about was that brief moment of being airborne. His stomach still felt like it was turned inside-out. He—

"You can let go any time ya want," Turbo said.

Felix looked around. The kart was stopped in front of a cube-like little house with a gray front door and blue-framed windows. On the right side of the structure, two identical blue karts—Axel and Rally's, no doubt—were parked. On the left side was a stone staircase that led up to the roof. There was some sort of lush green plant up there, its leaves hanging over the edge, blowing lazily in the faint breeze.

Felix's face burned with embarrassment.

"Oh," Felix said. It was then that he realized how tight of a grip he had on the racer.

He snatched his arms away and jammed them to his sides. "I am _very _sorry for, ah…for my misconduct." His mouth was a thin line. He nodded.

Turbo grinned. "Misconduct, huh?"

Turbo bent his knees and gripped the edge of the kart, volleying himself over the side with ease. Felix was a little less graceful. Turbo offered to help, but Felix waved him away politely. He finally managed to flail his way out.

Felix put a hand on the back of his neck, averting his eyes. "I hate to be rude an' all, but it's getting pretty _late_, and—"

"But you want yer hat back, don'tcha?"

Felix's eyes widened. "Oh! I'd completely forgotten that one of your brothers was nice enough to lend me their helmet." He took the helmet off. "I should return it."

As if on cue, the twins came out of the house, Axel minus his helmet. He had Felix's hat in his hand.

"Looking for this?" Axel said. He put Felix's hat back on his head, sideways. He took his helmet back. "Thanks for keeping it warm for me."

"And thank you very much for letting me borrow it," Felix said with a curt nod.

"But hopefully you didn't need it," Rally said. "Did you guys crash into anything?"

"'Course we didn't crash into anything!" Turbo said. "Not with the greatest racer evah behind the wheel." He gave Felix a little nudge with his elbow. Felix grinned.

"It was nice," Felix said. Turbo beamed.

"Don't feed his ego too much, now, Felix," Axel said. "That's the last thing he needs." Rally snickered.

"Aw, don't listen to those two assholes," Turbo said. "You can tell me how great I am any time you want."

Felix just laughed nervously, his hand finding its way to the back of his neck again.

"Let's getcha back to your game," Turbo said, turning on his heel and beginning to walk. Felix followed suit, waving a silent goodbye to the twins.

"Got a big day tomorrow." Turbo added.

"Right, I forgot! Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Sure is." Turbo leaned backward, stretching his back muscles as he walked. "I _am _kinda lookin forward to it, though."

"Oh, me, too, it _is_ a lot of hard work, but really—"

They chatted back and forth as they walked toward the tunnel the tram traveled through. It wasn't very far away from Turbo's home, though Felix hadn't known that before that day. He supposed he just hadn't noticed it nestled between the palm trees and bushes. It sort of blended in with the scenery, he guessed.

It didn't take long for them to reach the tram. "Guess we're here," Turbo said.

"I suppose we are," Felix said. His hand wandered to the back of his neck.

"Hope I didn't scare you too bad. With the reckless driving an' all." He gave Felix a sheepish grin.

"No, I enjoyed it, actually! As a matter of fact, when you think about what I do for a living every day, you know, jumping on t—"

Felix's sentence was cut short by a pair of lips meeting his, soft and wet and lukewarm. His breath caught in his chest. His heart pounded. His eyes widened. He felt every muscle in his body stiffen.

It must have only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like minutes. Hours. Eons. Felix didn't know. All he knew was that he was being kissed, and for the first time, and it felt…felt…

…Good?

Turbo pulled away slowly. A thin thread of saliva hung between their mouths.

"Aw, damn it," Turbo said, reaching his hand up to clear the line of spit away. "And I thought that went so good, too." Turbo took his thumb and swiped at the corner of Felix's mouth. "Whoops."

Felix could feel the heat in his cheeks reaching an impossible level. They may well have been physically on fire. "I—I mean, I—gosh, I mean—" he tittered nervously.

"We should do this again sometime, Hot Stuff," Turbo grinned.

Felix stammered his goodbyes and hopped onto the tram. He didn't dare look back at the racer who'd just smacked him a big one.

As soon as the tram was out of sight, Turbo bolted back to his house as fast as his Chuck Taylors could propel him.

He burst through the door, chest heaving.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God."

The twins had been sitting at a card table, playing a lazy game of five-card draw when Turbo flew inside. They let the cards drop from their hands and rushed over to their little brother.

"What, what?" Axel said, grinning.

"Didja kiss him?" Rally said.

Turbo bobbed his head up and down, eyes wide.

"Ha! You owe me five bucks," Axel said to his twin.

"Yeah, yeah," Rally shot back, giving his twin's shoulder a shove. He directed his attention to Turbo. "Give us all the details, little bro. We gotta tell you exactly what you did wrong." Both of the twins nodded approvingly.

Turbo opened his mouth to protest, but he knew it wouldn't do him any good. They'd noogie and wet-willy the truth out of him either way. He sighed, recounting the events he'd just been through.

"Aw, no, you cut him off mid-sentence to kiss him?!" Axel said.

"I just went for it, awright?" Turbo said, flailing his arms. "What was I supposed to do?"

"You gotta _romance_ him," Rally said.

Turbo stuck out his tongue. "Yuck."

"Well, now you've probably scared the poor guy away," Axel said.

"Pssh, naw," Turbo said. "He'll come back. They always come back."

"Who's _'they'_?" Rally said.

Turbo ignored this question. He turned on his heel and started walking up the stairs. "G'night, losahs," he called over his shoulder.

Both the twins rolled their eyes in unison.

"You know he's goin up there to bawl his eyes out, right?" Axel said to his twin.

"Definitely," Rally agreed. The two went back to their forgotten card game.

* * *

Author's note: It's been about a year since I've written anything, and it's been _three _years or so since I've written any fanfiction. I'm admittedly rusty, but hopefully I'll be writing some more in the future. It sounds really lame, but I forgot how fun writing fanfiction was.

Author's note 2: Everybody has different names for the Turbo Twins. A lot of people call them Jet and Set, but I don't really care for that...? I decided to name them Axel and Rally. No real reason for those names, just thought they were cute.


End file.
